Mel Kohler

MA, LMFT (they/she) Sex, Relationship & Intimacy Therapist

I view sex therapy as the work of guiding people back into their bodies to allow connection with themselves, their relationships, their community, and the erotic. I consider myself holistic and decolonial in my therapeutic approach. I believe deeply in the innate wisdom of my clients and I work to empower this wisdom by leading with curiosity. Some modalities I offer include Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), Narrative Therapy, and Polyvagal Theory. My style of therapy can be described as personable, empowering, and playful.

What You Can Expect

A social justice approach to therapy means an ongoing commitment in creating an anti-oppressive environment for my clients. Intimacy and sex are often obstructed by gender expectations, religious purity, racism, ableism, secrecy, shame, and other cultural scripts. I offer a space of cultural humility.

While I find joy in working with any and all clients interested in the world of sex therapy, I am particularly passionate about working with relationships. I offer an affirming space for LGBTQ+, gender-expansive, kinky/BDSM, and polyamorous/ENM/open relationships. It is my belief that we are all beings who innately thrive best in community and relationships. It would be my joy to help enhance communication, trust, and awareness of each other’s needs in and outside of the bedroom.

My Story

I was lucky to be raised by two vibrant communities. My father’s side was a huge family of Irish Catholics from the Midwest. My mother’s side was a gaggle of Puerto Ricans from the Bronx. They were similar in that they were both boisterous, social, and opinionated, yet neither group dared speak on sex or queerness. Growing up and knowing confidently I was both a sexual person and a queer person, supplied me with insatiable curiosity and a passionate desire to have these conversations. It’s been a beautiful realization to see that simply having the conversation, the demystifying and debunking, all in a non-blaming and non-shaming environment, can be the most therapeutic intervention of all. I’m proud of my personal journey of gaining self-awareness, deconstructing internalized barriers, and gaining sexual empowerment. I believe PNW Sex Therapy Collective works to model this in our clinicians and inspire for our clients.


Outside of my world of therapy, I love to stay active with downhill skiing and finding/swimming in the nearest body of water (regardless of season). To lay low, I enjoy video games, board games, and cooking.

Books I Suggest


  • I hold a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Antioch University Seattle with a Sex and Intimacy concentration.
  • Understanding Out Of Control Sexual Behavior with Marc Gilmartin -March 2022
  • Sex Therapy Certificate from Antioch University – Completed December 2019
  • Counseling Sexual Minorities with Fiona O’Farrell – December 2017
  • Counseling Along the Gender Spectrum with Shannon Solie – December 2017
  • Sexuality in Faith Systems with Aimee Heffernan – October 2018
  • Sexual Avoidance Cycle with Jessa Zimmerman – March 2019
  • Sex Therapy in Abusive Systems with Katrina M. Sandford – June 2019
  • MAPS with Rosalyn Dischiavo – July 2022
  • ADHD and Sex with B. Lourenco – October 2022
  • High Conflict Couples with Ben Trelease – November 2022
  • Caregiver Kinks: An Introduction to Imaginative Power Exchange with Stefani Goerlich – June 2023
  • Childbirth and Pleasure with Suzannah Weiss – June 2023
  • Modern Love Languages: An Expansive Reframe of the Popular Relationship Theory with Anne Hodder-Shipp – June 2023
  • Double Gifted: Kinky and Neurodiverse with Steve Ratcliff – June 2023
  • “Disability is an art–an ingenious way to live”: Dreaming Pleasure Centered Disabled Futures with Shanna Kattari – June 2023
  • Treating the Community, You Are a Part of: Ethical Discussions around Dual Relationships with Hannah Wilson – June 2023

Schedule a meeting with Mel Kohler

Scroll to Top