Mel Kohler

MA, LMFT (they/she) Sex, Relationship & Intimacy Therapist

I view Sex Therapy as the work of guiding people back into their bodies to allow connection with themselves, their relationships, their community, and the erotic. I consider myself holistic and decolonial in my therapeutic approach. I believe deeply in the innate wisdom of my clients and I work to empower this by always leading with curiosity. Some modalities I offer include Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), Narrative Therapy, and Polyvagal Theory. My style of therapy can be described as personable, empowering, and playful.

What You Can Expect

A social justice approach to therapy means an ongoing commitment in creating an anti-oppressive environment for my clients. Intimacy and sex are often obstructed by gender expectations, religious purity, racism, ableism, secrecy, shame, and other cultural scripts. I offer a space of cultural humility to you here.
While I find joy in working with any and all clients interested in the world of sex therapy, I am particularly passionate about working with relationships. I offer an affirming space LGBTQ+, gender expansive, kinky/BDSM, and polyamorous/ENM/open relationships. It is my belief that we are all beings who innately thrive best in community and relationship. It would be my joy to help enhance communication, trust, and awareness in each other’s needs in and outside of the bedroom.

My Story

I was lucky to be raised by two vibrant communities. My father’s side was a huge family of Irish Catholics from the Midwest. My mother’s side was a gaggle of Puerto Ricans from the Bronx. They were similar in that they were both boisterous, social, and opinionated. Yet neither group dared speak on sex or queerness. Growing up and knowing confidently I was both a sexual person and a queer person supplied me with insatiable curiosity and a passionate desire to have the conversations that weren’t being had. It’s been a beautiful realization to see that simply having the conversation, the demystifying and debunking, all in a non-blaming and non-shaming environment, can be the most therapeutic intervention of all. I’m proud of my personal journey of gaining self-awareness, deconstructing internalized barriers, and gaining sexual empowerment. It’s one I believe PNW Sex Therapy Collective works to model in their clinicians and inspire for their clients.


Outside of my world of therapy, I love to stay active with downhill skiing and finding/swimming in the nearest body of water (regardless of season). To lay low, I enjoy video games, board games, and cooking.

Books I Suggest


  • I hold a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Antioch University Seattle with a Sex and Intimacy concentration.
  • Understanding Out Of Control Sexual Behavior with Marc Gilmartin -March 2022

Schedule a meeting with Mel Kohler

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